As you can see, it has been eons since The Lady has opened the page to let us have contact with the world. She has her reasons but none of them are valid as far as I can tell. She is just another inconsistent and inconsiderate human who has her priorities askew. And I have a perfect example of this to share with you. A few days ago....
The house was quiet and cozy. I decided to do my usual patrol of kitchen counters and cupboards. I had just finished examining the bottom food cupboard and had jumped onto the counter to watch The Lady chop carrots, when I noted a cold drippy sensation on my privates and tail. I was also suddenly aware of a nasty odor akin to cleaning fluid from the vets office. I felt some creeping confusion and just when I gathered my wits and was ready to jump down and lick my chilled rear, The Lady turned and saw me...."Oh SHEEEIT, FRANKIE!" she shrieked....Now I WAS alarmed. But before I could evacuate the area, The Lady scooped me up and dumped my entire lower half; my beautiful fluffy tail, manly paws, and nicely tufted rearend...all into a pan of lukewarm dirty dish water. Well, Holy MouseInnards! I was IRATE and fought with all of my might! How could The Lady, who has always been trustworthy (as much as a human could be) all of a sudden turn into a maniac and try to drown ME?! I fled the area and slid under the bed. Jasper, alarmed and perplexed, stood sentry at my side. Time passed and I crept forward...EEEEKKK! I was attacked again and my poor little body was sloshed into another sink of water until I was so diluted with the hateful stuff that my gorgeous tail had melted into humiliation. One good thing in all of this is I did get a handsome swap of claw into The Lady's arm...THAT is when I managed to escape for good.
Time passed...I licked...and licked...and licked my distraught tail. And, then, I smelled a lovely fishy aroma...wafting across the floor. Yuuummmm....could that be TUNA? TUNA! I will say that when The Lady goes crazy, she really does experience remorse and tries to undo her evil actions. And I didn't even have to share with the others. After the tuna, The Lady apologized and petted me and gave me slow love eyes and head bumps. She says that sitting in jewelry cleaner could make me sick....what is jewelry cleaner?
Time has passed. My tail has dried and re-fluffed to magnificent proportions. I am, once again, incredibly handsome and The Lady promises never to put jewelry cleaner on my kitchen counter again.
