Attempted Drowning

As you can see, it has been eons since The Lady has opened the page to let us have contact with the world.  She has her reasons but none of them are valid as far as I can tell.  She is just another inconsistent and inconsiderate human who has her priorities askew.  And I have a perfect example of this to share with you.  A few days ago....

The house was quiet and cozy.  I decided to do my usual patrol of kitchen counters and cupboards.  I had just finished examining the bottom food cupboard and had jumped onto the counter to watch The Lady chop carrots, when I noted a cold drippy sensation on my privates and tail.  I was also suddenly aware of a nasty odor akin to cleaning fluid from the vets office. I felt some creeping confusion and just when I gathered my wits and was ready to jump down and lick my chilled rear, The Lady turned and saw me...."Oh SHEEEIT, FRANKIE!" she shrieked....Now I WAS alarmed.  But before I could evacuate the area, The Lady scooped me up and dumped my entire lower half; my beautiful fluffy tail, manly paws, and nicely tufted rearend...all into a pan of lukewarm dirty dish water.  Well,  Holy MouseInnards!  I was IRATE and fought with all of my might!  How could The Lady, who has always been trustworthy (as much as a human could be) all of a sudden turn into a maniac and try to drown ME?!  I fled the area and slid under the bed.  Jasper, alarmed and perplexed, stood sentry at my side.  Time passed and I crept forward...EEEEKKK!  I was attacked again and my poor little body was sloshed into another sink of water until I was so diluted with the hateful stuff that my gorgeous tail had melted into humiliation.   One good thing in all of this is I did get a handsome swap of claw into The Lady's arm...THAT is when I managed to escape for good. 

Time passed...I licked...and licked...and licked my distraught tail.  And, then, I smelled a lovely fishy aroma...wafting across the floor.  Yuuummmm....could that be TUNA?  TUNA!  I will say that when The Lady goes crazy, she really does experience remorse and tries to undo her evil actions.  And I didn't even have to share with the others.  After the tuna, The Lady apologized and petted me and gave me slow love eyes and head bumps.  She says that sitting in jewelry cleaner could make me sick....what is jewelry cleaner? 

Time has passed.  My tail has dried and re-fluffed to magnificent proportions.  I am, once again, incredibly handsome and The Lady promises never to put jewelry cleaner on my kitchen counter again.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BEST FRIEND

Tomorrow everyone is celebrating Cinco de Mayo and we have an extra reasons to have a fun party time.  My Best Friend is 11 years old on Cinco de Mayo!  AND I was born this month 3 years ago so it is a triple celebration.  Happy Birthday to Us!  I imagine we will get lots of presents.  My Best Friend will have chocolate chip cookies and I hope someone gives me some chicken breast (don't care for thighs).  Because I am a generous friend, I will share my chicken with Daisy and Jasper but the presents are MINE.  Everyone here is asleep except me and The Lady.  Jasper is snoring (what's new!)  Daisy is quietly curled up on her favorite pillow.  I just can't sleep, thinking about our special day....

                                             
                                                  

SEEKING REFUGE

                                                        
It has been a long time since I have been able to sit down at this computer without The Lady's interference.  She seems to think that her thoughts are more real than our thoughts when, in fact, we are the reason she has not gone completely insane...If I didn't stretch out on her legs at night to hold her down, she would probably traipse around town in her nightgown singing old show tunes.  And if Jasper didn't sing at dawn, she would be late for work and we would all be living in our crates under the bridge.  So, you see, we have a job here.   Anyway, we carry on.  And then today an unfortunate happening occurred.  The Lady has this violently noisy monster that she dances with upon occasion.  Usually she brings him out on Friday nights when she opens a bottle of champagne.  The two of them slide around the house, to and fro, over rugs and floors.  After a few glasses of bubbly, she winds out his very long nose apparatus and swings it all over the darn place...walls, underbeds, in all of our hiding places...it is a wild night...let me tell you!  Usually, in fear for our safety, the three of us retire to the loft, and huddle there for the duration.   SO....today...My Best Friend was here and she and The Lady were cleaning the loft.  I went up to help out...move around some old fur and check out the contents of some bags and boxes.  I got a bit tired and settle onto a cushion at the back of the loft only to awaken in great alarm as I saw the snaky looking nostril of the APPARATUS come sliding up the loft ladder.  I WAS CORNERED WITH NO ESCAPE ROUTE!  What would YOU do?  No time for thinking...take action NOW...so I hurled myself upon the mercies of open air, flying out of the loft, onto a window sill and to the floor...LANDING ON MY FEET...then I sailed out of the room to seek refuge under a table with Jasper (who was already hiding there,)  It may not be true that cats always land on their feet but this time I was  lucky. 

                                                
                                                        Thank Cod for good friends!

A Tough Weekend

I am sorry to report our peaceable kingdom was ransacked this weekend by The Torturer.  Every once in a while, The Lady has an overnight guest.  He looks like a cutie pie human but don't let that fool ya.  He is a feline's worst nightmare. 

                                                 

 When he is visiting we dare not lie leisurely in the sun or eat with our backs to the room.  Plus we know sleeping with The Lady in our normal spots is not gonna happen...Not with The Torturer flailing around all night like a mad dog.  Anyway, we each took refuge in various ways. 

I climbed: (which I think is a great survival tactic):

                                          

Daisy sought protection from Aslan:

                                       
And Jasper, being the secret agent man, tried out his camouflage technique:

                                         
Due to our cleverness, we once again survived The Torturer.  Naturally we needed to have an uneventful sleep filled day to recover.  But here is the worst part of all....after a night of hyper vigilant terror, we were subjected to what The Lady calls "pilling".  The Lady says we all had worms in our poop...I can see this might be true for Jasper since he comes from Who Knows Where and has a Secret Past.  But Daisy and I are clean as a whistle, our grooming habits are impeccable and neither of us picks our noses.  Hey...and NONE of us has fleas...go figure.  Worms...horrors!  I just can't fathom this.  But anyway, The Lady and her Loyal Friend (who you haven't met yet), wrapped us in towels and shoved stuff down our throats...GAG, RETCH, YOWL....Ah...well...it is over and best forgotten. 
 
 I have to say that if My Best Friend had been here, NONE of the above might have happened.  But, for now, The Torturer is gone.  The worms are dieing.  Until the next unexpected alteration of our days, we can relax.  I speak for all of us in wishing you a lovely Sunday and a week of good hunting.

Ghost Hunter and Secret Agent

Ah!  A nice sunny Sunday here in the wine country of Sonoma County...(The Lady wanted me to tell you that.)  Personally,  I don't give a yowl about wine...and neither do the others.  But we are really smitten with lounging in the spring sunlight.  My Best Friend has been here overnight and she took some photos of me and Jasper working at some of our jobs.  In our family, I am the one who takes charge of all bird related actions and paranormal events.  Here is a photo of meoooowaaa in pursuit of a ghostly apparition.

                                      
                                  
My new brother, Jasper, is an enigma.  He came to live with us after we met him at the local feed store.  He was there, confined in a wire cage.  The Lady and My Best Friend liberated him immediately (they had been searching for a large marmalade beast for months to no avail).  He was "the right one", according to The Lady.  My question is, "The right one for who or what?"  Anyway, we know NOTHING ABOUT HIS PAST.  He is a secretive sort of fellow, hiding, to do who knows what in the privacy of dark spaces.

                                                                                    

Today we wish you all a sunny snoozy Sunday.  And for those of you still shivering in the dregs of winter, there is hope and genuine solar warmth just over the horizon!

                                     

Jasper's High Coo #1

                                                          
                                                             Look at great hunter
                                                         Purring louder than a truck
                                                               Biting his mousie. 
                                               

                              
                                                  Do you like my beautiful handsomeness?

Daisy

Good day...I would like to introduce myself.  My name is Daisy and I live on Frank's Corner.  In fact, I have lived here long before it was Frankie's place.  My brother, Jack, and I were born in a lumber yard on December 1st, 2006 (which is also The Lady's birthday!).  Soon after, we left our mom and moved in with The Lady.  We had a nice life together, exploring and cuddling until a very sad thing happened.  With no warning, my brother passed on...shocking us all with his departure.  Jack was a very sweet boy, always tending to my grooming and teaching me how to protect myself  (at least he tried).  I will always miss him.

And now....oh dear...what can I say without being too punitive...Well, I am a peace loving sort of puss and Frankie is definitely not like a loving brother to me.  Early on I learned that he is a dirty fighter...goes in for the kill when it is just suppose to be rough housing.  The Lady says he never learned manners because he was an only kitten with an immature mother.  I think she is being kind.  My impression is that he is an ornery bully.  BUT he is my family now and I am doing my best to make do.  I kind of like him when he is sleeping.

Just last month we took in a new brother.  Jasper the marmalade king is a mystery tom with much better manners than Frankie.  I will tell you more about him later.

FRANKIE HERE:  Believe what you want to believe...But do I look like the mean guy she is describing?  Would The Lady live with a mean guy?  Come on...Daisy is such a Drama Queen Kitty.  Hang in there....cause I will be the one to tell you about Jasper...after I finish teaching Daisy a lesson.

                                      


                                    

My Rough Start

Hi, I am back!  It takes some time to get The Lady to pay attention to my creative urges or I would have been with you sooner.   I want to tell you all more about how I came to be the lucky guy I am today.   I had a rough start; only kitten of a teenage feral mother, living in a horse trailer, nursing a dry teat....good thing I don't remember but I have heard the stories...

....I was  born in Sandpoint Idaho, the only kitten of a Calico cutie.  She was a wild one (that is why I tend to be a bit of a biter..it's in my genes).  The story goes that My Best Friend found me and my mom.  It was love at first sight and she decided to save my life...right then and there.  She cuddled me up and took me to a vet.  Then she bought a nice satchel and I took my first and only plane ride home with her to California.  I really like that girl and she smells good and she is soft.  THEN, unbeknownst to me, the plan was for me to go live with her Grammy, The Lady.  The Lady's cat, Jack, had just passed suddenly from a cardiac arrest.  My Best Friend new that somebody as amazing as me would surely heal her Grammy's broken heart.

You can see above the picture of when The Lady and I met. She adored me, of course.  But soon after, we went through a rough patch because I got Montezuma's Revenge from weaning and traveling and what not.  NEVER have I had such a sore patookie as then!   But The Lady gave me a sitz bath and applied a soothing balm...(excuse me, is this too personal?) and I recovered quickly.  I did not miss my mother or the horse trailor and have lived an interesting and fulfilling life since then.  Here is a picture of me flying the friendly skies.

TREASURE HUNT

Hi Friends,  Today was a lucky day for me and my new brother Jasper.  When The Lady left on her hunt this morning she was careless in a very advantageous way for us.  She left a kitchen cabinet door ajar just enough for me to slip in a paw sooooo....we did some exploring and came a way with a very loverly Peacock feather.  It was a lively fella and it took both of us to bring 'im down.  But he is a done deal now...a mere remnant of his former glory.  I wish I could share a picture of our kill with you but The Lady has yet to retrieve her camera from The Daughter...she promises soon to bring more pictures on board of  Me (ow), Daisy, and Jasper...and some of our more favorite people, places and things...I would really like to share a picture with you of the inside of Jasper's ears...I love Jasper's ears....

FOGGY AND OUT OF FOOD

Well, The Lady didn't go hunting yesterday so the cupboard is bare.  I have attempted to rectify her error with reminders; tipping water glass, singing loudly, and dancing her tummy but...all to no avail.  I am about to resort to some face licking which is a true regression and humiliation for someone of my stature...geez.....

I do not wear dresses...only fur.  This must be some kind of photo shop trick that the lady thought up...Even Daisy wouldn't wear a dress...no not me...someone else...but look at my beautiful eyes and sweet good natured expression.  No lady, don't tell them!  SSHhhh!  (Frankie was and IS a biter!)